Location Transport

I am trying to revise this and it is not quite right. Any suggestions? Feel free to critique.?

Nature’s Majesty The sun, its searing, scorching heat traversing vast reaches of space and filtered through the miles-deep atmosphere, still bakes the sand beneath our feet and burns the skin on back and face and blinds our eyes with its oppressive glare. The ocean with its churning tide, tempestuous and merciless, unleashes the tsunami’s murderous hell and tosses mighty ships aside like broken toys upon the crests and valleys of its heaving, roguish swell. And Earth, seething, teetering in balance, fiercely grinds and quakes. Volcanoes gushing from its molten core throb and spasm. All-consuming wildfires, born of lightning strikes and dry-wind-driven, feed our primal fear. But all of Nature’s majesty, the potency of sea and sun and Earth cannot compare to what I feel when I see you. The travesty is that this passion is forbidden; I yearn for what I know cannot be real.

Public Comments

1. I honestly like your poem the way it is. You convey some real deep meanings with your prose. Keep up the good work