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Favorite political jokes?

The politics in here have been pretty wild on both sides, we have fought many times before, now the coliseum calls us again, and the only available weapons we have here is humor. Rules of Combat: 1. the funnier the better 2. grow thick skin 3. Don’t be stupid First joke (I’ll be adding more) The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off. CNN reports that John McCain is aggressively trying to win over the independent vote. Yeah, of course, to John McCain, independent means anyone who can make it to the toilet without help She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a liberal Democrat." "Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?" ''Why I'm a proud conservative Republican," boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she was a conservative Republican. "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too." The teacher, now angry, loudly says, "That's no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" She pauses, and lets out a a smile. "Then," Lucy says, "I'd be a liberal Democrat." Alright last joke How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative? A: Easy. Watch a man drowning fifty feet offshore. The conservative will throw out 25 feet of rope and shout "swim for it!" The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope, drop his own end, and go off to do another good deed.

Public Comments

1. How do you get Democrats into a room - Throw in a Welfare check! How do you get them out - Throw in a job application!
2. i can't remember it really (and can't refer back to it because it was deleted on yahoo answers last night) but..... give a democrat a sandwich one day. make him make his own sandwich and he becomes a republican. correct me if i'm wrong. i hope i didn't butcher it too badly...
3. A democrat and a republican were walking down the street when they see a homeless person. Moved by his plight, the republic takes his wallet out, gives the homeless person his business card, and $20. He tells the homeless person to use the money to get cleaned up, and gives him directions to his office so he could get a job. The democrat is impressed by this, and vows to help the next homeless person that they come across. Soon, they come across another homeless person. Seizing the opportunity, the democrat takes $20 out of the republican's wallet, gives the homeless person $10, and gives him directions to the nearest welfare office.
4. The heads of China, USSR , and the US are in a plane full of random surplus materials. The head of China says :"I will make 1000 of my citizens happy", and throws 1000 certificates for a free house out of the plane. The head of the US says:"I will make 1 million of my citizens happy", and throws 1 million certificates for a trip to space. The head of the USSR says: "I will make ALL of my people happy!" and throws the leader of the US out the window.
5. What can a picnic table do that a Liberal can't? Support a family.
6. What does Barack Obama have in common with homeless people? They Both want Change! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA