Location Transport

Your opinions on my prologue? (short)?

My beloved Roxanna, You don’t know how much it hurts me to have to leave you like this: so alone and helpless—anything could happen to you during my absence. The laws of heaven won’t permit me otherwise, sad to say, so I will rarely be physically present throughout your life. This is why I find the need to write you this letter. As I stare down at your small figure in my arms, my chest hollows and I feel ill. ‘How can something so small and innocent carry such a heavy burden? How can this baby girl have such a reward hanging over her head?’ These are the questions I ask myself as I painfully write the story. Well, here goes nothing. I just ask that you not think any less of me after I am done. Many centuries ago existed four stunning women. Xi Shi, Wang Zhaojun, Diao Chan, and Yang Guifei. They were recognized at the Four Great Beauties in China. Legend has it that they were the most beautiful to walk on earth: Fish would forget how to swim and sink under the surface as Xi Shi walked by. Birds would fall from the skies, enticed by the beautiful appearance of Wang Zhaojun. Yang Guifei put flowers to shame and Diao Chan was said to be so luminously lovely that the moon itself would shy away in embarrassment when compared to her. Each of them, one by one, fell defeated in battle. That story you will learn on your own for it is not something revealed to humans. As the rebirth of Yang Gufei, you must locate the others while surviving life on your own. I hate to do this, but where I place you for your childhood should help you mature both physically and mentally as to come victorious in the end. The other three aren’t being put under anything you are, because their angels believe that it is best to fill them with happiness for the remainder of their normal lifetimes. I don’t go by that principle as you will find out. This letter is getting too long. I have secured a map with you for your following location. It will lead you to your heart’s guardian. I trust that you will succeed in your human life and pray that everything goes well. Be wary of everything is all the advice I can give. I will always love you, Azrael. Azrael didn’t notice how the letter fell from Roxanna’s wrap as he flew higher into the air, separating ways with the three other guardians and their Beauties. The child in his arms was wrapped in a black blanket, fully dressed in white underneath her covers. Azrael was worried that the baby would get cold flying over one hundred miles per hour, but she seemed to be sleeping soundlessly. Roxanna’s pink nose bothered Azrael, but he couldn’t do more than wish he could descend from the skies to wrap her in his soft black wings. He couldn’t stop. Not until she was found by a pair somewhere in New York City. For updates, monitor my Worthy of Publishing page: http://www.worthyofpublishing.com/author.asp?author_ID=9771

Public Comments

1. Not fabulous. Keep working.
2. Your word choice is lovely! It sounds like an older prose, something that I like very much. Well done. This is a good prologue, it sets the stage for whatever you are planning next. :)