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how can i make this paragraph shorter?

I can only write this in one paragraph i cant make too, can someone help!!!! dont just say cut out words, im trying my best The superior conqueror of England, displayed his triumph victory of the battle of Hastings on the “Bayeux Tapestry.” The tapestry explained the story of how William became king of England. After William won the battle, he needed to take order of his new kingdom as some cities were still populated with Saxons. William’s army was forced to crush many rebellions to take over England. 1069-70 was the time of the “Harrying of the North,” a period where William’s army burned villages and murdered locals. Wooden castles were built after conquering a city. They were built outside Saxon towns, to prevent rebellions. Defeated Saxons were forced to build the castles. The Saxons hated the Normans, as they were treated harshly and they took their land. During war, and the battle of Hastings, the Normans had a unique defense tactic. Horses were dominant. A charging horse gave a knight extra height and more power to lance a sword. Normans weld wooden shields, daggers, spears, crossbows, battle-axes, and javelins. Distinctive symbols are expressed in the tapestry. One distinctive symbol is weapons, including swords, shields, and crossbows. They symbolized power, strength, and strength. Soldiers, another symbol which express cooperation and group defense. Hawks are shown in the tapestry, which represents a predator and power. Castles displayed represent the Norman community, intimidation, and defense. A useful symbol was the sailboats, which symbolized transportation and to hold cargo. Another source of transportation was the symbol of a horse, which also helped soldiers to fight. A common symbol was the livestock to feed the community, such as cows, pigs, sheep, and goat. Overall the Normans were omnipotent, and had productive defense tactics, which interested me to choose this topic. In my opinion I believe that the Normans had a masterful defense system, which allowed them to take over England, stop rebellions, and never allow England to be invaded again. The Normans war tactics influenced their technique to medieval clans, to neighboring countries, and today it gave us an idea of the Normans lifestyle, and understand that the English civilization will prevail.

Public Comments

1. cut back fancy, unnecessary, and words that give of your opinion. If this is a History paper, the marker wants to see facts, not what you believe. I'll help you with your first line: The superior conqueror of England, displayed his triumph victory of the battle of Hastings on the “Bayeux Tapestry. Superior isn't necessary at all. You're trying to describe William and all that he has done; that should already give readers an impression that he is "superior", so you don't need to put that in there. However, superior conqueror should simply be William because you're making your sentence start out very vague. Again, let your paper give the impression of who William is, don't sum him up in two words. He was more than just a "conqueror" too. I think you meant "triumphant victory over the Battle of Hastings", but that sounds to glorify him and make you sound biased. Your point: he achieved victory at Hastings; was it triumphant and magnificent? To him definitely, to Godwinson? Don't think so. To his people? Yes, well the naive ones anyways. You just need "his Victory" but if you really want to point out that the victory really was great, you can mention, something along the lines of, that he displayed his superiority over his Kingdom. See, English just comes down to wording, I stripped down your paragraph from the very start. However, here's my crack at it: You could say " The English king, William the Conqueror, achieved a decisive victory in the Battle of Hastings which is suggested from his depiction in "Bayeux Tapestry".